If only they were black lace

I feel as though I am incapable of writing anything that is not dark. My nuggets are more onyx than gold; and somehow every time my pen touches paper, regardless of the ink, it is black.

“Obsession takes a swimming head and drowns it.”

“At night my dreams betray me. They mock the feelings I suppress in the day, and in the morning I am left with the truths I have tried to leave behind. I hate sleep because it always eventually ends.”

“There is no way to undo; no way to forget, to unfeel. There is no pill to take to erase the memories. No medical procedure to extract the knowledge of what was. And so I am left a sea of emotions in which I constantly nearly drown. I have nothing but memories. Knowledge. And feelings.”

Pouring through a decade of writings–as I occasionally do–though I look for something good, all I find is sad. And it is embarrassing that I am that forlorn girl–that prompted words feel false. Heartless. Sunshine does not make my pen move, but how can art be without versatility? I fear that someone somewhere is right: nothing good ever comes from being sad.

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Do you like words written by people? Then check out the Yeah Write grid. Because…ya know…what would this post be without a little irony?

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12 comments

  1. I find this so interesting. I’ve found so much more leaning towards “Nothing good comes WITHOUT sadness/depression/suffering.” And I don’t agree. I think fantastic art comes from emotions of all sorts. Purge in any form you must. I look forward to the result.

    1. I agree that great art comes from emotion. It’s just frustrating when you’re trying to be good at something & equating “good” with “well-rounded” only to find that you’re stuck with a one-track mind.

  2. “Obsession takes a swimming head and drowns it”–wow, that is a powerful line. Beautiful in its heartbreaking accuracy. I can relate. Well-written.

  3. Omg, this was beautiful! And it so resonated me as if it were written just for me! Sometimes I even sit down to write with the full intention of sharing a funny story or making an attempt at humor and it always comes out dark. And I become embarrassed that what I have to share is almost always sad. But then I think, everyone has a style, a niche and the world needs writers of all styles so maybe it’s not a bad thing. Thanks for sharing this.

    1. I’m glad I’m not the only one! The menstrual story in one of my previous posts took a ridiculous number of iterations simply because it was a challenge to write something entertaining & light-hearted. But even then, it was kind if dark because I’m talking about a traumatic experience! But thank you…I’m glad you can appreciate.

  4. Some people are naturally dark in temperament , and that is okay. It’s not wrong, it just is. I like that you understand yourself well enough to see the darkness, even if it makes you uncomfortable.

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