Well, not really. Just restrained by my waning spirit. I’ve been stretching myself a little thin lately.
Part of it’s due to circumstances beyond my control. Part of it’s due to the lifestyle I have had to maintain over the past few years. Part of is due to my need to fill gaps so the noise doesn’t settle in.
I need to find a new therapist.
I need to write more.
I need to read more.
I need to submit more.
I need to come up with my abstract for the water resources conference.
I need to finish my thesis edits.
I need to buy my tassel for graduation.
I need to open a savings account.
I need to start thinking about my retirement.
I need to get my car serviced.
I need to go to the laundromat.
I need to clean out and re-arrange my back room.
I need to go visit my family.
I need to visit my out-of-town friends.
I need to find new local friends.
I need to exercise.
I need to find a new gym.
I need to figure out what I’m going to eat that won’t make me feel guilty.
I need to get started on the storm drain marking program
I need to write the script for our radio PSA’s.
I need to mark off things on my “to do” list.
I need to stop putting things on my “to-do” list.
I need to take a day off work, damn not getting paid.
I need to stop worrying about being single.
I need to practice mindfulness more.
I need to take the time to meditate.
I need to cry for a really long time.
I need to get over it.
I need peace.
So yeah, I’m a little worn down and constantly irritable. I have scraps of writings and pieces I’ve started that just fizzle after the first few lines. I have little to give and I’m not in a place where I feel what I need to feel. That in itself is an indication of a need for re-evaluation in life.
That’s where we are.
Fuck the weekly posts.
I’m taking a day off next Friday and getting away, somewhere. Maybe I’ll get some writing done then.